Girlfriend Translation Guide
Men often say women are confusing. Well, maybe sometimes.
Ok, most of the times! I didn’t make this. I saw this somewhere and thought it was funny. Here’s a guide that would help decode the most difficult language of all.
Seemingly Innocent Phrases
Translation: I’m giving you a chance to rethink what you just said.
Translation: I heard you now shup up.
Translation: The true F word. Not even on the same planet as fine.
Translation: It’s beneath us to type the F word but not beneath us to imply it.
Translation: Yes (insert rolling eyes emoticon).
Translation: The only thing I’m admiring is what a phenomenal turd you are.
Translation: Could be okay, could be no-kay.
Translation: Definitely not okay!
Translation: Decapitalized, just like how I want to decapitalize your head.
Translation: I can’t even…just…no words
Translation: Mindlessly upset. Or I sat on my phone.
Translation: I’m silently plotting your demise. No good killer publishes her murder plans.
says: We need
means: I want
says: It‘s your decision
means: The correct decision should be obvious.
says: Do what you want
means: You‘ll pay for this later
says: We need to talk
means: I need to complain
says: Sure… go ahead
means: I don‘t want you to
says: I‘m not upset
means: Of course I‘m upset you moron!
says: Am I fat?
means: Tell me I‘m beautiful.
says: You have to learn to communicate.
means: Just agree with me.
says: Are you listening to me?
means: [Too late, your doomed.]
says: I‘m sorry
means: You‘ll be sorry
says: I‘m not yelling!
means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
Tricky Yes or No Answers
In response to the question “What‘s wrong?”
says: The same old thing.
says: Nothing, really.
means: It‘s just that you‘re an idiot.
says: I don‘t want to talk about it anymore/Change topic.
means: I‘m still building up steam.