Girlfriend Translation Guide

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Men often say women are confusing. Well, maybe sometimes. Ok, most of the times! I didn’t make this. I saw this somewhere and thought it was funny. Here’s a guide that would help decode the most difficult language of all.

Seemingly Innocent Phrases

Seriously?
Translation: I’m giving you a chance to rethink what you just said.

Got it.
Translation: I heard you now shup up.

Fine
Translation: The true F word. Not even on the same planet as fine.

Whatever
Translation: It’s beneath us to type the F word but not beneath us to imply it.

Duh
Translation: Yes (insert rolling eyes emoticon).

Wow
Translation: The only thing I’m admiring is what a phenomenal turd you are.

Okay
Translation: Could be okay, could be no-kay.

K
Translation: Definitely not okay!

k
Translation: Decapitalized, just like how I want to decapitalize your head.


Translation: I can’t even…just…no words

&*%$#
Translation: Mindlessly upset. Or I sat on my phone.

No reply
Translation: I’m silently plotting your demise. No good killer publishes her murder plans.
says: We need
means: I want

says: It‘s your decision
means: The correct decision should be obvious.

says: Do what you want
means: You‘ll pay for this later

says: We need to talk
means: I need to complain

says: Sure… go ahead
means: I don‘t want you to

says: I‘m not upset
means: Of course I‘m upset you moron!

says: Am I fat?
means: Tell me I‘m beautiful.

says: You have to learn to communicate.
means: Just agree with me.

says: Are you listening to me?
means: [Too late, your doomed.]

says: I‘m sorry
means: You‘ll be sorry

says: I‘m not yelling!
means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

 

Tricky Yes or No Answers

says: Yes
means: No

says: No
means: No

says: Maybe
means: No


In response to the question “What‘s wrong?”

says: The same old thing.
means: Nothing.

says: Nothing.
means: Everything.

says: Nothing, really.
means: It‘s just that you‘re an idiot.

says: I don‘t want to talk about it anymore/Change topic.
means: I‘m still building up steam.

 

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