A Gym Story — Sweat Like A Pig, Look Like A Goddess

I sub­scribe to the 80% diet+20% gym mantra. But I wasn’t always like this. The gym was the last place I’d imag­ine myself to be. You couldn’t get me to one even if you paid me. Case in point, check out my Insta­gram post a few months ago.

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So what changed? My fam­i­ly would prob­a­bly say it was divine inter­ven­tion (a mir­a­cle!), some friends would say I hit my head and a screw got loose, voila, I’m a gym lover!

In real­i­ty, I was pissed—pissed when I was told I wasn’t enough. Not sexy enough. Not strong enough, that I wouldn’t last in a gym, that I couldn’t do it. That flipped the switch.

I always get what I want when I put my mind into it, and being told with such final­i­ty that I just can’t, I was deter­mined to prove my naysay­ers wrong. I’ll show you, I swore to myself. Nev­er tell a Vir­go it can’t be done because we will prove you wrong out of spite, just so we can have the last word, and rub it in your faces for good mea­sure.

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Vir­gos can be spon­ta­neous and impul­sive, but we are pre­dom­i­nant­ly plan­ners and ana­lyz­ers. I sat myself down, wrote my goals, my time­frame in achiev­ing those goals, imag­ined the body I want, made my gym playlist, imag­ined the faces of my detrac­tors. Heck, I even had my biki­ni picked already. I went online, bought a gym mem­ber­ship, got dressed, went to the gym.

I’m no gym expert but I’m shar­ing my per­son­al expe­ri­ence on how I man­aged to get my old body back. We have dif­fer­ent body goals, and it is still best to con­sult a pro­fes­sion­al to tar­get those prob­lem areas. There are no short­cuts to weight loss.

  • Pre­pare your­self men­tal­ly. I can’t stress the impor­tance of prepa­ra­tion. Fail to pre­pare and pre­pare to fail. I con­di­tioned myself. I browsed Pin­ter­est for gym moti­va­tions. I read up on expec­ta­tions of gym new­bies. I raped the repeat but­ton of Beyoncé’s Crazy in Love, my favorite video of all time. I went look­ing for biki­nis I like. Pre­pare a gym playlist—your ulti­mate hugot (slang for gut-wrench­ing) theme song, your dance anthem, your karaoke hits, what­ev­er gets you to move. When I feel slug­gish, my playlist is MoveY­our­Fa­tAss. Sexy times need SexyB+tch.
  • Choose an expen­sive gym near you. I know how this sounds, but read on. Unknown to many, this isn’t my first gym. Years ago, I actu­al­ly went to Slim­mers’ World SM branch. I stopped because of many reasons—staff weren’t help­ful, too far from home, I didn’t have time, etc. I antic­i­pat­ed it will hap­pen again, and my brain would come up with rea­sons not to go to the gym, so I made sure I won’t be able to use those rea­sons. Gym too far? I chose a gym near me. No time? I had to go because it’s expen­sive, I already made arrange­ments with the train­er (anoth­er cost), and I wasn’t going to waste what I paid for. I actu­al­ly have more yoga pants now than actu­al pants, so that’s one more rea­son not to skip the gym. Where else would I be able to wear my yoga pants?

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  • Get a train­er. I had no idea what to do in a gym. I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself and get injured so I got a train­er. If I was going to tor­ture myself, I fig­ured I might as well do it prop­er­ly. His name was Rex. He was the nicest, the most patient…the man was basi­cal­ly a saint! But he was also Hitler, who made me do burpees, push-ups, and oth­er tor­tur­ous rou­tines that test­ed my pain thresh­old, pushed me hard, and con­stant­ly hound­ed me to go to the gym via sms and Face­book. Thank you Rex, I couldn’t have done it with­out you! You were a train­er, a friend, and a cheer­leader.
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Actu­al pic­ture of me, doing a full push-up, look­ing very hap­py! *insert eye roll*
  • Lis­ten to your train­er. Just because you are pay­ing him doesn’t mean he fol­lows you. It’s the oth­er way around—you fol­low him. You paid him to pun­ish push you hard. It was like a game of Simon Says, in this case, Rex Says. When Rex says do jump­ing jacks, I would ask “how high”. He says do 30 secs side planks each side for 3 cir­cuits, I would let out a deep breath, mum­ble some­thing unin­tel­li­gi­ble,  and do it.  Do 10–15 full push ups, I would curse under my breath, ask how I got myself into this sit­u­a­tion, but do it any­way.
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Shaw­ty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low!
  • Well, hel­lo again, carbs! This was the point I start­ed tweak­ing my keto diet. It became more like the South Beach Diet. I noticed that I felt very weak after work­ing out when I was strict­ly on keto so I slow­ly intro­duced carbs back into my diet. My heav­i­est meal would usu­al­ly be the break­fast or lunch, nev­er din­ner. I would eat a slice of wheat bread, 2 eggs, a banana dur­ing break­fast, and add a half cup (or less) of mais (corn grits), saltine crack­ers or a slice of wheat bread and soup dur­ing din­ner, and of course, lots of water before and after exer­cise. I usu­al­ly go to the gym an hour or two after lunch when Cebu feels like one giant sauna (so I’ll sweat more!).

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  • Exer­cise even when you don’t feel like it, even for a few min­utes. There would be days I didn’t feel like going to the gym for var­i­ous rea­sons: I got my peri­od, I was sore, dead tired, no sleep, not in the mood, dying, etc. But I would still do my planks and squats at home, or do yoga. I down­loaded apps that would help me and add vari­ety to my rou­tines. There are a lot of free fit­ness apps. Per­son­al­ly, I like DoY­ouYo­ga, 30 Day Planks, Nike Train­ing, Asana Rebel, and Kay­la Itsines’ Sweat. Choose the apps that work for you.

 

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  • Wear a slimming/training corset. Kim Kar­dashi­an did it, and Jes­si­ca Alba too. This isn’t for every­one, but if you want to see results and a lit­tle vain like me, go for it. I cred­it this as one of the rea­sons I got my hour-glass fig­ure back.  I wear my corset when I run on the tread­mill, sit­ting while work­ing, or when­ev­er I go out—it helps me lim­it my food intake. It can be con­strict­ing when doing core exer­cis­es so choose when to wear it. Slimming/training corsets also help with your pos­ture. There are many online sell­ers but be care­ful, not all corsets are cre­at­ed equal, and some may do more harm than good. I got mine from Slim­ming Corsets Ph. Most celebri­ties got theirs from them, so I know they were rep­utable. You can find them in Face­book and Insta­gram. It’s a lit­tle pricey but total­ly worth it. Con­sid­er invest­ing in one, I mean, just look what it did for me.

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  • Planks, ring rows, squats, burpees, and push-ups. Mas­ter these rou­tines and you’d see notice­able improve­ment in your body if you are con­sis­tent, espe­cial­ly your core (abdomen/tummy area), legs, and arms. It’s going to be dif­fi­cult at first, and you’d feel like you’ve been run over by a truck each time, but at least you’d be one hot wreck. For modified/easy burpees, check out Kay­la Itsines’ video here.
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Start with the basic elbow plank for begin­ners
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Not easy being the next Dar­na — Actress Liza Sober­a­no doing an elbow plank
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Chal­lenge your­self with the high plank
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Easy mod­i­fied side plank for begin­ners
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Try the chair plank, a mod­i­fied side plank next
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The goal — a per­fect side plank!
  • A bonus, if you get lucky—your sig­nif­i­cant oth­er goes to the gym too. My boyfriend does. He was the gym buff, not me. I have mood parks, not mood swings. When it gets real­ly bad, and I’m hav­ing one of my infa­mous b+tchfits, he tries to moti­vate me. I don’t know how he does it, it’s his super­pow­er, and I end up going to the gym. Thank you babe. <3

 

I know body pos­i­tivism is a very pop­u­lar con­cept late­ly, with the plus size mod­els like Ash­ley Gra­ham mak­ing a splash. I’m all for lov­ing myself in what­ev­er form I’m in, but I real­ized, to tru­ly love myself, is to take care of my body. Your body reflects your con­scious­ness. Hav­ing a pos­i­tive body image shouldn’t be used as an excuse to be unfit. There is no excuse not to try. Some of these exer­cis­es don’t even need equip­ment. The oper­a­tive word is try. In this age, there are no ugly peo­ple, just lazy ones. Ulti­mate­ly, it’s all about choic­es, and stub­born deter­mi­na­tion.  Good luck you sexy b+tches! Just do it.

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